NO BUSINESS IN BUSINESS

Being a childstar is basically being sentenced to certain disaster. Take a look at anyone from "Different Strokes", Dana Plato is dead, Gary Coleman is a dwarf security guard being charged with assault like every other week and Todd Bridges is an ex crackhead/robber that appeared on Fox Celebrity Boxing. Thats all fine and dandy for everyone over the age of 30, but shit, we never watched that garbage. We were much more into quality television like Neon Rider. Dont think for a second that some of the child actors from our favorite tv shows managed to escape the same gypsy curse.

Step by Step:
A great family show starring Patrick Duffy and Susan Somers. Both of supposed classic tv backgrounds (Threes Company is debateable, Dallas, a given). It was about two families coming together to be one. Whats not to love about that? Lessons learned and shared. Remember Cousin Cody? He was the crazy pothead but not really a pothead guy. Apparently he liked to beat his wife as well. Tsk tsk. I think hes been on some TBS made for TV movies ever since. I guess he was probably like 25 when he was on the show, so 'technically' we arent right in calling him a 'child star'. Well quit riding me Dad.

Fullhouse:
Everyone knows and loves Fullhouse. Remember how greeeezy Uncle Jesse was with his black mullet in honor of Elvis, remember coocoo Uncle Joeys voices? Needless to say Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) was very well liked, although she was the much maligned middle child, she had a good head on her shoulders, clever sayings "How Rude" and apparently a lust for crystal methamphetamine. How do you go from being bored housewife to smoking crystal meth? Its a bit of a leap no?


Family Matters:
The other two (particularly Fullhouse) I can seriously do with out, im not gonna lie. However I do hold Family Matters in high regard, dont ask me why but its just as sweet and sincere as the other two. Maybe it was Jaleel Whites incredible ability to switch in and out of Steve Urkel to Stephan the sophisticated ladys man, maybe it was the comic genius of Waldo Faldo. I can tell you for sure that it wasnt Jamie Foxxworth's character. I mean who the hell really remembers Judy? I dont, not when youve got a cast that strong. Whats fucked is that she was on the show for a good 4 years so its not like she didnt exist. Well regardless, she did porno. Yep. Not even like redshoe diaries softcore, she did straight up nasty filthy smut porno. See. Lookit. Fucked hey?


Oh yeah, Hoby. from Baywatch is a total twat now.
FACT.
-CeePee