NO BUSINESS IN BUSINESS

Friday, September 29, 2006

 

Fucking Hot

So lurking the internet, as any hardworker would do, we managed to stumble upon this incredible site. What the living fuck is this? Apparently nails are an international fetish. Check out Lee Redmond, apparently shes been growing her nails for 27 years. Fucking hell, she looks like summat out of poltergeist, no? I read it in the Guiness book of world records. How does she go to the bathroom, let alone change? Ser guy. That’s summat nasty.

Lookit some of the feet pics on the main page. I dont care how smooth and lack of ashy they are, shit looks like the feet of a lady gargoyle.



Buncha shit going on this weekend. Czech out the following:
Tonight:

Schooly D too, hes at Gypsy Co-op, but i cant seem to find a flyer, ech.

Saturday:



There ya have it.
Oh yeah, if yer ever in Buffalo, go czech out the new Krudmart store, its at 125th Elmwood ave, Buffalo NY.

-CeePee

Sunday, September 24, 2006

 

Oh the 90s were a rough decade

Being a childstar is basically being sentenced to certain disaster. Take a look at anyone from "Different Strokes", Dana Plato is dead, Gary Coleman is a dwarf security guard being charged with assault like every other week and Todd Bridges is an ex crackhead/robber that appeared on Fox Celebrity Boxing. Thats all fine and dandy for everyone over the age of 30, but shit, we never watched that garbage. We were much more into quality television like Neon Rider. Dont think for a second that some of the child actors from our favorite tv shows managed to escape the same gypsy curse.

Step by Step:
A great family show starring Patrick Duffy and Susan Somers. Both of supposed classic tv backgrounds (Threes Company is debateable, Dallas, a given). It was about two families coming together to be one. Whats not to love about that? Lessons learned and shared. Remember Cousin Cody? He was the crazy pothead but not really a pothead guy. Apparently he liked to beat his wife as well. Tsk tsk. I think hes been on some TBS made for TV movies ever since. I guess he was probably like 25 when he was on the show, so 'technically' we arent right in calling him a 'child star'. Well quit riding me Dad.

Fullhouse:
Everyone knows and loves Fullhouse. Remember how greeeezy Uncle Jesse was with his black mullet in honor of Elvis, remember coocoo Uncle Joeys voices? Needless to say Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) was very well liked, although she was the much maligned middle child, she had a good head on her shoulders, clever sayings "How Rude" and apparently a lust for crystal methamphetamine. How do you go from being bored housewife to smoking crystal meth? Its a bit of a leap no?


Family Matters:
The other two (particularly Fullhouse) I can seriously do with out, im not gonna lie. However I do hold Family Matters in high regard, dont ask me why but its just as sweet and sincere as the other two. Maybe it was Jaleel Whites incredible ability to switch in and out of Steve Urkel to Stephan the sophisticated ladys man, maybe it was the comic genius of Waldo Faldo. I can tell you for sure that it wasnt Jamie Foxxworth's character. I mean who the hell really remembers Judy? I dont, not when youve got a cast that strong. Whats fucked is that she was on the show for a good 4 years so its not like she didnt exist. Well regardless, she did porno. Yep. Not even like redshoe diaries softcore, she did straight up nasty filthy smut porno. See. Lookit. Fucked hey?


Oh yeah, Hoby. from Baywatch is a total twat now.
FACT.
-CeePee

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

 

Speak english or die

Holy fuck.
I was just about to go to bed when I read this bulletin my friend Jackie put up. It had the following gentlemens myspace profile address. Here. I really really really really really really really hope this guy is for real. Even if hes not he is getting MASSIVE props for putting together the greatest charade ever (next to Jesus Christ). Seriously. This guy is almost as old as my father and twice as accomplished. What have YOU ever done old man? Obviously nothing but disappoint your son.

Not only is he sporting the most perfect bowlcut known in the history of man he has openly mentioned that he purchased (not in so many words) his wife from the Ukraine. I bet he doesnt even care if she speaks english cuz they both speak the language of looooooooooooove. Go out and get Jonah's album now (if they have one, i bet if you pm him real nicely he will gladly send you a CDR to play on your hi-fi). Who wants to put some money down on the fact that he lives in a junkyard in Northern Oregon? Im positive i saw that one rusty car in an episode of cops.
-Ceepee

Monday, September 18, 2006

 

What is the world coming to?



That a man that has embraced Tatanka's fashion know how and the word and body of Christ would be arrested for trapping a man outside his juristiction (read: country). Our prayers are with you Dog, in Jesus name.

Also Im sure that the lot of you have been worried as all hell as to what was going to happen to our beloved Vatikan in Queen W. Not a short while ago were we all putting horrible things up our noses, in our lungs or in our bellies until the early hours of the morning.

Sometimes you were wearing a leather vest and some nipple clamps while a short man beat your ass with a cat of nine tails and Alien Sex Fiend blared out of the speakers. You'd scream out in pain only to find that the scream was muffled by the ball gag that had been placed in your mouth earlier by that less than feminine drag queen. Why is it always the damn masculine ones that get to you?

Not to worry, you will still be able to continue with these activities.

Dont forget your gasmask!



-CeePee

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

 

Fall has come

and that means that the Toronto Film Festival is here. Needless to say the city will be plagued with celebrities, glitterati and films galore. Some of the better titles that intrigue these folks hurrr are S&man which sounds kinda sexxxy,Made in Jamaica, The Borat movie, which you should know about unless you are retarded and Away from here which should touch us all. Just kidding. The last one is a joke. Seriously. It sounds muy homo. Anyhooo, along with all this ish comes a shit load of parties. Seriously. School is back in and people are gonna go fucking NUTS. GO NOW.

Friday, all the way from Baltimore. If you missed em last time, here is your second chance. Seriously fugging GO. Its at Stones Place.

Best part is that there is an afterparty which will serve and rage till fucking dawn. Shit is right down the street too.

So, after youve slept for about 10hours (make sure you hit that liquor store on your way home). Your prayers have been answered. Caps n Jones are back.

Shit is REAL.
These boys. came in on a Wednesday last time and shit went down. Remember, it was just a WEDNESDAY then. You dont even KNOW what kinda chaos is gonna break out.

We are currently rooting through all the submissions that we got for our contest and we should have a result reaaaaaaaaaal soon. Big props to all the contenders and keep an eye out for more freebies and the like.

-Ceepee

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